Letting Go by Enneagram Type

When it comes to growth and personal development, we oftentimes feel the need to ADD to our to-do list, assigning more tasks to complete, more mountains to climb, more activities to experience, etc.

In reality though, each of our egos clings TIGHTLY to certain beliefs that ultimately hold us back from achieving our basic desires.

This post is meant to help shift your focus from adding MORE to your plate to LETTING GO of the stories your ego wants you to believe.

Type 1:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you are in a position to judge anything objectively.

The voice in your head is very present, very loud, and very corrective. I get it. It’s hard to silence that voice. But letting go of the belief that you are in a position to judge anything objectively releases you from your ego’s thirst for things to always be “correct.” We don’t live in a black-and-white world; there is a lot of gray area that your ego doesn’t want you to acknowledge.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to have integrity, and be good.

Type 2:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you are not allowed to care for yourself.

Self care is so important, especially for you, 2’s. I know you feel the most worthy of love when you’re appreciated and needed by others, but the truth is, you are worthy because you were BORN. Because you are here. You don’t have to EARN your worthiness; it is already there. Ask yourself: What do I want? What do I need? How can I give it to myself? And when you give to others, do so with no expectation of reciprocity. Love yourself how you want others to love you, and let everything else be the cherry on top.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to experience unconditional love for yourself and others.

Type 3:

Focus on letting go of the belief that your value is dependent on the positive regard of others.

I understand you, 3’s, because I am you. I know how good it feels to achieve your goals, win the contests, be liked by everyone around you. But I also know how much it hurts when that positive regard isn’t there to cheer you up. How strongly a setback hurts your confidence. How exhausting it is to hide who you truly are out of fear that it’s not good enough. I plead you to take off the mask, get to know who you truly are, and allow others to see it too. You will be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels to be YOURSELF and be valued for that - not for the facade you create.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to feel valuable and worthwhile for who you truly are.

Type 4:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you are more flawed than others.

Being seen as unique and special is important to you, but it can be exhausting to constantly feel on the outside, especially when you value authentic connections as much as you do. It can also make you feel on the outside. The truth is, we are all flawed. We are all wonderful. We are all special. You have so much to celebrate about yourself in that way, but don’t give in to your ego’s story that you are uniquely flawed. As Taylor Swift would say, we are all “happy, free, confused, and lonely” at the same time. Embrace every bit of that beauty - both within yourself, and in that shared connection with others.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to find yourself and your significance.

Type 5:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you are an outside observer separated from your environment.

While observation and intelligence are some of your strong suits, they are not your only strengths, and they do not define you. You are an active participant in every situation you find yourself in; you are not studying life, you are a part of it. You aren’t studying relationships; you are a part of them. Allow yourself to be fully immersed IN them and open your heart to fully embracing the joys that come with committed participation.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to be capable, competent, and fully experience the world.

Type 6:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you must rely on someone or something else outside of yourself for support.

While safety, security, and reliablity are high on your priority list, you can release yourself from the need to constantly seek them out. The truth is, safety, security, and trust are all around you, and WITHIN you. As John Shedd said in 1928, “A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” Untether yourself to the things you cling to for peace of mind. You might just find that the tether was actually a crutch, and you can rely on yourself and your ship more than you thought possible.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to find security and support both within and around you.

Type 7:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you require things and experiences to feel fulfilled.

While novelty, excitement, and new adventures are fun, you might be using them as an escape. The question to ask is: an escape from what? When we’re constantly seeking a NEW thing for fulfillment, it devalues the joy you leave behind when you run off to your next adventure. Like the value of a few nice, deep breath versus panting; when you’re panting, you’re taking more breaths, but the quality is not nearly as strong. You don’t always need new stimulation to feel fulfilled. Sometimes the best fulfillment comes from slowing down and embracing the current moment as it is.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to be satisfied, content, and have your needs met.

Type 8:

Focus on letting go of the belief that you you must always be in control of your environment.

I realize that going with the flow isn’t always your cup of tea, but there is so much joy to be found in relinquishing control rather than clinging to your own authority. Your ego wants you to believe that you must be in control to protect yourself and the ones you love, but how much joy are you missing out on when you fail to surrender to the situation? How much happiness is skipped when you refuse to show vulnerability? Your leadership skills are strong, but aren’t the best leaders also the best followers? Don’t underestimate the power of vulnerability and releasing yourself from the need to be in charge.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to protect yourself and the ones you love.

Type 9:

Focus on letting go of the belief that your participation in the world is unimportant or unwanted.

The universe doesn’t make mistakes. You are here with a voice and willpower that is just as strong as every other person on the planet’s. You deserve to be heard, make waves, and ruffle feathers when they need it. It’s not your responsibility to keep the peace. Your ego wants you to think that conflict = bad in every instance, but the truth is, the world is yours for the taking. Your desires are on your heart for a reason. Don’t lower your expectations, make yourself smaller, or go with the flow when the flow doesn’t suit you. You deserve to have what you want, speak what’s on your mind, and demand more out of life. That doesn’t make you aggressive or unkind; it makes you human.

This will help you achieve your basic desire: to enjoy inner stability and peace of mind.

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